To each, our violin has special meaning. For me, after just one month, I find there is an undeniable mystical allure about my violin. It seems to have a magical grip on me. It’s embodiment evokes a sense of spiritual attraction, awe, charm and fascination. Like the Greek muse Euterpe, the giver of much delight, in this short time my violin has become a loving inspiration, guide and assistant in my life, and I believe I know why.
Recently, I lost my mother at almost 102 years of age. I have been reflecting upon my relationship with her. My mother was marvelous woman, strong in her convictions, a hard worker, an artist and musician, an avid reader, a woman who had a thirst for knowledge, and a loving mother who was the glue that held our family together. She was not without her own human frailties and weaknesses, which sometimes angered me, but were a natural part of her humanness. In short, now that I look back, I believe she was my best friend and hero.
Although I have wanted to learn how to play the violin for as long as I can remember, I find it no coincidence that I started shortly after loosing my mother. The qualities I have already mentioned in both my mother and my violin somehow seem to dovetail into one for me right now. I think my violin has somehow not only become a tangible transitional object for me upon losing my mother, but a way to remember, honor, stay connected and pay tribute to her spirit. My violin has become my earthly embodiment of my mother, my original mystical and alluring muse, the giver of much delight.
I trust a psychologist would have a field day interpreting the thoughts I am putting into words here. I take a risk baring these inner thoughts in this manner, however my thoughts flow freely into these written words, as if something for so long not understood by me is now coalescing into a conscious realization that requires expression if I am to be true to myself. Isn’t that really all that matters in life, to be true to oneself?
My violin has already become a spiritual source of nurture, a companion, and friend, an assistant in my life, and the giver of much delight. I have read that the violin is the instrument most like the human voice, and my violin is allowing me to express and communicate, if only back to me, deep inner thoughts and feelings, even at this early stage. I take delight and deep satisfaction in all of this. I look forward to deepening our future relationship and journey as we grow older and closer. And, perhaps one day, when my time comes, I will be able to serenade my mother with my friend, my violin.